Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!

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  (225): Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs! http://tfl.nu/87u7
  Replies (1) Good night (719) Bad night (1112)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.

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  (561): I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes. http://tfl.nu/o56m
  Replies (4) Good night (1307) Bad night (1525)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?

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  (513): The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU? http://tfl.nu/gpmz
  Replies (8) Good night (637) Bad night (3391)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.

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  (631): Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever. http://tfl.nu/2wq0
  Replies (47) Good night (4842) Bad night (1107)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.

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  (870): Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine. http://tfl.nu/j38c
  Replies (56) Good night (5828) Bad night (1389)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.

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  (305): nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex. http://tfl.nu/huzf
  Replies (6) Good night (1633) Bad night (4437)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod

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  (859): i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod http://tfl.nu/ur38
  Replies (11) Good night (5692) Bad night (951)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.

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  (502): She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor. http://tfl.nu/3ap9
  Replies (10) Good night (5046) Bad night (1707)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.

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  (850): Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day. http://tfl.nu/xqgd
  Replies (13) Good night (4363) Bad night (1442)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward

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  (815): my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward http://tfl.nu/w58u
  Replies (7) Good night (2829) Bad night (844)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.

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  (603): I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife. http://tfl.nu/98pl
  Replies (11) Good night (1234) Bad night (2628)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine

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  (214): I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine http://tfl.nu/8nsa
  Replies (5) Good night (1889) Bad night (799)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.

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  (928): I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad. http://tfl.nu/59qz
  Replies (26) Good night (932) Bad night (1847)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.

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  (614): You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song. http://tfl.nu/edyj
  Replies (10) Good night (1630) Bad night (658)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.

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  (903): All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed. http://tfl.nu/pos0
  Replies (3) Good night (2225) Bad night (679)

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