Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?

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  (617): I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila? http://tfl.nu/4qsv
  Replies (1) Good night (987) Bad night (515)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.

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  (214): I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution. http://tfl.nu/bahd
  Replies (12) Good night (704) Bad night (3959)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends

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  (406): This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends http://tfl.nu/27cl
  Replies (32) Good night (4364) Bad night (886)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.

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  (352): if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong. http://tfl.nu/rar8
  Replies (20) Good night (3884) Bad night (837)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.

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  (203): I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious. http://tfl.nu/9dex
  Replies (24) Good night (4451) Bad night (947)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen

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  (814): DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen http://tfl.nu/glfa
  Replies (5) Good night (904) Bad night (2275)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.

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  (937): I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt. http://tfl.nu/gq37
  Replies (3) Good night (875) Bad night (1327)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?

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  (919): Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you? http://tfl.nu/64mv
  Replies (7) Good night (2601) Bad night (568)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.

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  (337): IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE. http://tfl.nu/suxx
  Replies (5) Good night (1157) Bad night (549)
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  (559): View more from California

  Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay

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  (559): Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay http://tfl.nu/1b8x
  Replies (9) Good night (900) Bad night (579)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...

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  (605): he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful... http://tfl.nu/18jg
  Replies (3) Good night (1143) Bad night (417)
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  (818): View more from California

  Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it

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  (818): Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it http://tfl.nu/vzjc
  Replies (10) Good night (1490) Bad night (410)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.

  (512): View more from Texas

  I found Cheetos.

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  (512): Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life. (512): I found Cheetos. http://tfl.nu/4vfh
  Replies (6) Good night (695) Bad night (353)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism

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  (813): Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism http://tfl.nu/7mxl
  Replies (5) Good night (649) Bad night (314)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.

  (1-801): View more from Utah

  20.

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  (801): I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day. (1-801): 20. http://tfl.nu/vqhd
  Replies (1) Good night (561) Bad night (270)

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