I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
Love having children with random chicks
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.