I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
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tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
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Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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