I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
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You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.