she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
