____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
accomplished twins. life is a go
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.