I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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