I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
