There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
