I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
