Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
