She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize