you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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