Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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