Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
