He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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