Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize