dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
