It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize