Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
