that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
A bitchslap is in order.
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