i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
