does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
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Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
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And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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