i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
