You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
