I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
