so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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