Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
