I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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