he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Acid is not a monday night drug
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
