farters have to be the big spoon...
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
