Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
sex in a hospital.. check
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
