whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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