What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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