Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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