I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
3 2 1 whiskey
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
