Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
