What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Your cock deserves a montage
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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