I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
