The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
