We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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