She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
