i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm at about main and main street
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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