R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
