I'm pants shitting drunk right now
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
