I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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