I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
it's like iHOP with fire
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
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He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
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Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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