If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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