We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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