so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
