Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I need to calm my uterus...
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
