I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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