Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
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It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
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Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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