i just had sex bonerless
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
