nut hugger
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
