Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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