I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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