My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
