We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
