Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(563): View more from Iowa

I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.

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(440): View more from Ohio

We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.

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(207): View more from Maine

The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.

(207): View more from Maine

welcome to maine.

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(513): View more from Ohio

I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.

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(440): View more from Ohio

i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back

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(256): View more from Alabama

I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?

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(305): View more from Florida

Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness

(305): View more from Florida

They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"

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(618): View more from Illinois

I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers

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