I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
