I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
