Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
