Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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