Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize