just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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