I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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