Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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