Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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