last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
