The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I think a kid would responsible me up
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Randomize
